Monthly Archives: May 2009

Every indivial need some time for themselves, some time with themselves, without any interference, to reveal their power, to get in touch with the inne self. It’s every human’s right that they can have some time for themselves, but what to do when one individual is not considered as a “Human” with emotions, feelings, dreams, fears, N so on? where to go when one is given  a bad look just because they were alone in their room, lets say they readin, writing, listening to music, offering prayer, watching something on tv, or let it be anything – just because anyone is alone, they are seen as a criminal N they were doin some kind of crime??? how bad can things go, N why do someone deserve such treatment I ask??? people near N dear , like parents N siblings are like looking at you as a machine, that would all the time be infront of them N waiting to be asked for anything to do, like a servant – every individual got the right to have some SPACE, to think N so get to know themself, they got the right to spend time ON them, without then worrying about to give explanations why, where, how – this is so sad how one can think that they acctually can control how the other person should live their life, N why would someone even care about those people who themselv are living, enjoyin N living life fully but expect others around who unfortunately happend to be one of  their “dear ones”, have absolutely no right to smile, laugh N enjoy the life, not even when they are 24/7 in the house, N not even doing anything “wrong” or anything without letting them know, they are doubted that “Ohhh God know what’s happening” hmmmm – this makes me sick, N sometime I really wish that If I could fly I would have flied far far away -

I personally think people that all the time doubt others close to them, are not pure in their own mind, they doubt N judge others from the way THEY THEMSELF are, they got this dirt in their own mind – nothing wrong with person they are trying to control N person they’re treatin like this, the problem is inside N within them, which they need to get fixed. God knows who’s sinner N who’s a good human being, only God knows. Every human being have all the right to spend their life the way they wish, they have all the right to lookafter them, look good N feel good, when God have given the right, then who are humans to take that away??? none!

It hurts so madly that someone can be so selfish that they only see their life N their happiness, N not even the slightest think of others who suffer – days, weeks, years gone are gone, never to come back – I think life is not a bed of roses, but sometimes people near N dear make the life a totally hell by judging N doubting their every action. I just hate it N it hurts, after all everyone need the space to breath without fearing that what will others think, Only God can question, as we all are gona answer him for our good or bad deeds – simple!!!

Sometimes we really wish to run away from “The pain”, We simply don’t want to feel it, we don’t wish to go through it, we don’t feel like crying N are kind of afraid that we might feel the self pity which is such a shame thing N therfore we try so much to hide the pain under the pillow or just try to ignore that we’re hurting N that something inside us are like breakin N falling apart.

Is it really that necessary to run away from the pain I ask myself? Is it? wouldn’t it be better to face it N to get rid of it, instead of dwelling on it, we can talk about it, cry out the heartache N just fairly make a bridge N get over it, why is this so difficult to do this. Maybe because the hurt the pain is so extreme or maybe because we are too weak hmm -

I’ve been through such a tough time in life, sometimes been cryin all night long, thinking why ME, why did I have to go through this in life, what wrong did I do, why why why – but then at a point I made a peace with my self N I stood up N started to take my life in charge, I knew that nobody ever gona make my life worth living, if not I do it myself, so I started N somehow I found the strength in my faith N inner self.

but still today when something like “unjustice” happen, N people near N dear to me totally give a damn in my emotions N feelings, when they look at me like a doll, without dreams N right to complain N enjoy my life, I feel so lost N alone, I’ve met “thepain” but maybe I get those flashbacks of my life my past years, that mess it all . so I guess my next step is to become totally “Emotionally free”.

Lots of people have this level of “ego” that doesn’t let them work at a place which other’s would see as “low”
according to their experience or education. After working in London for a leading company when I came back to Norway, I didn’t get a job for a bit and in the mean time instead of doing what a few others do.. which is lie on the corner, I worked at a warehouse moving boxes here n there with a small machine, then worked at a 7-eleven store. Been asked a few times at that point that since you had your own glass office in London how do you feel working here now, I used to laugh and say “I am loving it..”

After that I got a web designer position :) So obviously nothing is bad.. if it puts food on your table, it’s the best thing you can ever do.. actually doing NOTHING is what I consider bad..

What about you? Where have you worked which others might see as “ohh man how could you work there…”